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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Living in Sin

There have been suggestions today that unmarried couples living together should have the same rights as those who are married.

Er, why don't they just get married then?

Or give the same "rights" to everyone, including those who are living separately and not having sex with anyone?

Sky News has a picture to illustrate an unmarried couple. The bloke appears to be sitting in bed reading a newspaper, while the woman uses a laptop. Hardly looks like a thrilling life to me.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Hooey of the Worst Kind

This evening's Channel 4 News had an item about the Sinn Fein Chief Negotiator Martin McGuinness. The report stated that Mr McGuinness was denying a story that is being circulated about him and trying to persuade people "of his innocence".

Of his innocence? Innocence of what? What dreadful accusations are being made against Mr McGuinness? Could it be his intimate association with the murdering terrorists of the IRA, who killed so many decent people during decades of bloodshed? Or could it be his dismantling of the excellent schools system in Northern Ireland when he was Education Minister in the province?

Er, no. It seems that the vile accusation is that Mr McGuinness is a British spy. Which is, I suppose, a potentially dangerous situation as IRA sympathisers might see this as a betrayal.

But happily for Mr McGuinness, surely his personal safety would not be in doubt, thanks to the success of the "peace process" that he and his Fenian chums are keen to promote on their website?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bad Taste

Last week, a Dinner was held at the Arts Club in Mayfair to raise money for the Labour Party. It was organised by senior Labour party members and ministers.

In an astonishing lack of taste, an auction was held in which £400 was raised from the sale of a copy of the Hutton Report signed by Cherie Blair. This report was, of course, triggered by the apparent suicide of Dr David Kelly. You would have thought that Cherie would have been more sensitive to the issue of suicide.

But the sad truth is that crass behaviour is the sort of thing that we expect. Read more of this sort of stuff by buying this book.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Blair leaves his job

Apparently, Euan Blair, who was once found to be drunk and incapable in Leicester Square, has been getting through a lot of jobs recently. Maybe he should find out how to tie his tie properly?

Learning how to shave and getting a sensible haircut might help, while he's at it. I believe his mother knows a bit about getting her hair done.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Dr Who in Wales

The BBC's revival of Dr Who is made by BBC Wales. Last night's episode was supposedly set in London. But, as my exclusive screengrab shows, Rose's former boyfriend Mickey (or was it Ricky?) passed a car park in the closing moments, with a sign which appears to say "Welcome to Newport".

Maybe the Doctor should investigate?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Eric Forth

Mikey was sad to hear of the death of Eric Forth, one of the wittiest and most principled MPs in the House. Apparently, he didn't find out that he had cancer until last week.

Unlike several others who have written their own tributes, I didn't know him well at all, but I did meet him on a few occasions and found him to be very good company. His honesty on the deficiencies of the Major Government while he was still a minister in it was very refreshing. Later, when he was Shadow Leader of the House, he was similarly open on his views of the then party leader, Iain Duncan Smith. I once offered to buy him a drink at All Bar One in Kingsway. He asked me to get him half a bitter, but it turned out that such a beverage was not available in this particular bar! So I had to get him half a lager instead.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Fab Wacky Thumbs Aloft

It has been announced that Heather Mills-McCartney has separated from her husband Sir Paul McCartney.

Lady McCartney is the founding patron of the UK charity Adopt a Minefield. I've heard of adopting a baby or even an animal, but minefields seem to lack the same cuddly quality. And anyway, surely Heather is only at half the risk of losing a leg in a minefield compared to the rest of us?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Melanie Slade Alert

Melanie Slade, the 17 year-old girlfriend of a footballer, has appealed to the media to respect her privacy. After all, she is merely trying to concentrate on her AS-levels and her Saturday job at Claire's Accessories.

But thankfully she has had time to pose with several other footballers' "wives" to raise "awareness" of cancer. Not to mention the extensive appearances she has been making in several newspapers. Good luck to her, and let's wish her success with her exams.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Hey Baby!

There's a heartwarming story in the Sun newspaper today (also on Sky News) about a 12 year old girl who is expecting a baby. Apparently (according to the Guardian) she "fell pregnant", as if she were the innocent victim of a random illness or was suffering from diminished "life chances", when the reality is that she was indulging in deliberate unprotected sexual activity.

It's great to read such a happy story to kick off the weekend. OK, so she lives in a council flat and smokes 20 cigarettes a day, but she and her mother have presumably been paid enough by the Sun for their story to keep them in Special Brew for weeks!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Peace, man

Today's Sun newspaper features a story about David Cameron's alleged plans to go to the V Festival in August. To illustrate this, it has published a photograph of Dave with long hair and stubble, and taking an illegal drug.

The picture is obviously a fake. There has never been any suggestion that Dave has ever had long hair or stubble.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Lock 'em Up!

A woman called Finola Farrant works for the Howard League for Penal Reform. Previously, she was associated with organisations such as the Prison Reform Trust and NACRO (do you see a pattern emerging here?).

Anyway, she has now published a report (funded, apparently, by the "Big Lottery")claiming that prison does not work for young men because 70% of those so incarcerated reoffend within two years of their release. Apparently, they find it difficult to maintain "relationships" with women when they have been locked up. They should have thought about that before they committed the crime.

And anyway, so what? Virtually 100% (bar the odd miscarriage of justice) of these yobs offended before they had ever been in prison. So they are committing crimes anyway. And at least they are prevented from offending when they are actually locked up.

With all the injustice and trauma suffered by innocent people at the hands of antisocial and violent criminals, what is it that motivates people such as Ms Farrant to campaign for the rights of ill-disciplined felons?

Friday, May 05, 2006

Two Inches

So John Prescott is to retain his title as Deputy Prime Minister, but he is to lose all of his departmental responsibilities. Is he still going to be paid the full Cabinet Minister salary, even though he won't be doing anything?

Still, it gives him more time to spend with his office staff.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Posh is SO last century

It's 10 years now since Victoria Adams first came to prominence as one-fifth of the Spice Girls. They haven't had a hit for over 5 years, and Victoria (now known as Mrs Beckham following her marriage to a footballer) didn't find great success in her solo singing career.

But she's back in the papers now, showcasing an event to celebrate British style at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. Other representatives of British fashion at the event included Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsay Lohan (even though half of these aren't even British).

Haven't the organisers missed the point with the guest list? The top style icon in Britain today is surely Jenny Scott of The Daily Politics?